As I study a few articles for my first job next week, I’m also giving someone the closure he deserves. Whilst something I’ve treasured for a long time has finally come to an end, I’m slowly getting ready to step in to my future.
How is it that I already feel so old at 22? For the past 5 years, I put everyone else’s wants and needs before mine. I wasn’t able to make mistakes and make bad choices and learn from them. I couldn’t afford to go backpacking at a remote and beautiful island to swim with the whale sharks with my best friend, because I had other priorities. I couldn’t afford to keep on shifting courses in college until I found out what I really wanted, because I had to follow a timetable. I was the one taking care of people so I’ve rarely felt like I was truly taken care of. For awhile, surprises and spontaneity were not welcome in my life. My soul has aged slightly a few years early. Being the slightly obsessive compulsive person that I am, I planned out everything, I have the tendency to have to know everything, and have everything my way, up til today. Now that I’m starting over I honestly don’t have any fucking clue where I go from here, it scares me shitless and strangely enough, I love the feeling.
So to you dear reader, go explore, go find something that will fascinate you, sleep in an island with only planktons and fireflies to guide you, cherish moments with your family and with your friends, go and meet people and make new friendships, go be silly, enjoy life, enjoy your youth. No one’s too old for surprises, so until you can, do not settle, do not settle until you find deep and true happiness.
Trust me dear, take the ride and appreciate it greatly.